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Dekoh's amputation due to osteosarcoma journey

One Year Angelversary

My Dearest Dekoh,

Today is your one year angelversary and I wanted to sit down to write you my thoughts to let you know you are on my mind every minute of every day. I still cannot believe it has been one year today you went to the Rainbow Bridge. I started to collect pictures from your life to create a slide show of your life which I have not completed it yet and I will, but as I look over all of the pictures I have taken of you it seems like just yesterday you came home as a little ball of fur. Time just went way too fast.

As I sit here thinking of what to write to you I can only think of all the great times we had during your time on this earth. This past year has been a roller coaster of emotions and thoughts of you for me but please know that the thoughts of you is what gets me through the day. I look back on the many things we experienced together when you were by my side and every experience was a great memory. When I take my walks in the neighborhood I think of you running and playing ahead of me looking for the next child to play with or just trying to find that rabbit to chase. This past Halloween was extremely hard for me as this was the first time in many years I did not have you here to dress up in a new outfit to show you off to the world, which I know you only put up with it just for me and I greatly appreciated it.

I know that if you could talk to me you would tell me that I need to move on but it has been very difficult for me to move on knowing how much you were a part of my life in everyday happenings.  I miss waking up in the morning and seeing you lay on your bed looking at me just waiting for me to move around so we can start a new day, which you were always happy to see a new day even up to the last day on this earth. I miss having you go out to the front lawn to get the newspaper as you so enjoyed especially when it had snowed. I miss making your breakfast and sitting there eating my cereal know the day is just getting started. I miss having you with me on my walks and there are some days I just do not feel like walking but I know you are touching me on my shoulder to say “come on grab my collar and let’s go walking” so I pull myself up and keep going.

I have decided not to be at the house tonight as it will bring some extreme emotions out knowing that you were laying on your bed in such great spirits not knowing that day was your last day with me, but I know you are no longer in any pain. I want you to know that I am not running away but only that I need that space to help cope with the emptiness I have in my heart. I know that people say it gets easier as time passes but I have to say it does not. I am always thinking of you as well your two brothers, Zieg and Toby, playing together and having a great time. As you already know your sister, Zoya,  joined you this year to frolic in the tall grass and swim in all the ponds you want. I know that Zoya’s pawrents miss her very much just like I miss you.

I want  you to know that you will never be forgotten no matter how many days, months, years go by you are always in my heart.

Today is a day that will never become easy for me, but knowing that you are up there looking down on me helps me make it through each day. I love and miss you, Zieg and Toby very much. I know you guys are waiting up there for me to come join you and one day we will be back together.

Love you, Dad

This is you taking a nap after a long day of play time

I always love this picture that shows our love

Happy times

There is my little angel

 

4 Comments

  1. Michelle

    Thinking of you on this sad day. Dekoh is still with you in spirit. I know that isn’t what you want and it is hard no matter how long it is. The pain lessens doesn’t mean the hurt goes away or it gets “easier”. There will always be that whole in your heart where his place was.

    Dekoh give your dad a sign that you are ok.

    hugs
    Michelle & Angel Sassy

  2. benny55

    You always write so beautifully and from your heart when paying tribute to Magnificent Dekoh. We are all so privileged ro get to know Dekoh even better when you share some kf these treasured memories with us.

    And the pictures…I always loooove looking at Dekoh’s photos. He TRULY is a MAGNIFICENT And HANDSOME boy!

    No dog could have been more loved while here in his earth clothes. And you vetter believe he brags to everyone at the Bridge about that! Make no mistake about it, Dekoh knew how much you loved and adored you. And he loved you equally as much!

    I went back and read your preciius virthday post to Dekoh at the Nridge. Somehow I missed that ppst and how you celebrated his virthday. I loved seeing all the places you and Dekoh visited. You two sre such a tem…and furever connected team!

    I thoroughly enjoyed seeing the photos you have posted through the year. And the ones on this post did not disappoint. Two peas in a pod!! And that puppy picture….SOOOO CUTE!! Obviously he loved being your lap dog from day one! 🙂
    And he certainly looked proud as he strolled up and down the streets in his Halloween outfit! Such a good sport! 🙂

    We salute you Dekoh! But we do jave a question. When are you going to send your Dad. another dog! I bet you have a real handful already picked out!

    Thanks for posting and thanks for the precious photos. We always look forward to more!

    Lots of hugs!
    Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!

  3. jerry

    Awwww I can’t believe it’s been an entire year. These first anniversaries are so difficult. I hope you found comfort in somehow experiencing Dekoh’s presence throughout the year as he continues to guide you throughout your own earthly journey. You’re right, that sweet angel of yours is always a part of you, and this community. He will never be forgotten.

  4. Isabelle

    Such a beautiful post, brought tears to my eyes. My angel’s one-year anniversary is coming up in Jan, and you’ve described perfectly what I’m going through. Moving on / moving forward seems impossible.

    Sounds like you’ve been having a tough time, but I hope you can take comfort in the fact that you clearly gave Dekoh a wonderful life on earth. He looked like such a happy furbaby (that puppy pic melts the heart!).

    It’s obvious that you two had an amazing bond, a connection that holds strong even with the distance between you and Rainbow Bridge. He & his brothers are patiently waiting to see you again, but until then, I hope that each year bring you a little less pain and a little more peace.

    Sending you a virtual hug!

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