I woke up this morning knowing it would have been your 12th birthday. I laid there for a few minutes thinking of what things would would have done today to enjoy your magical day, but realized that everyday you were with me was a magical day. The great memories you provided me makes me very happy and I will never forget any of them. As you know I still miss you and think about you everyday but I am not sad anymore like I have been. I do wish you were still here with me but I know in my heart you are with me in spirit, which keeps me happy.
I know you are probably up there a the bridge having a great time just like we always did here so you keep having a great time and I will keep you in my heart along with your brothers Zieg and Toby. I miss all three of you guys and will someday have another of your brother’s with me to go on new adventures.
I cannot believe it has been 3 years yesterday since you departed my side but time continues to move forward no matter what. The past three years has been difficult without you by myside and a lot has happened as I know you have been keeping an eye on me. I went out for a walk for you even in my condition, which I know you are aware of what has happened with my knee. Things are getting better and I will be back 100% soon going on our walks again.
I was watching a video last night of you when I first brought you home on March 10, 2008 and you were just a little ball of fur, so much energy and fun romping around. That seems like yesterday in my heart and mind, just so wish I could have that day back. I have always brought up videos and pictures of you just to see your smile. I also look at pictures and videos of your brothers (Zieg and Toby) just knowing they are with you playing.
I have come to know that my grieving has become more joy of remembering all of the great times we spent together as well when your brothers (Zieg and Toby) were in my life. I still have tears come to my eyes when I think of all you guys as each of you hold a very special place in my heart.
I keep thinking a new little fur baby would come in to my life but not yet, but I will say it has been on my mind a lot lately so who knows. If you have a fur baby in mind that you want to send my way please do as you know they will be very well taken care of.
I love you, Zieg and Toby very much still and miss you guys.
I wanted to wish you a happy birthday as you would have your 11th birthday. As you know I think about you everyday and really wish you were still here with me to go on our walks. I have been pushing myself to get out and walk everyday to see the neighborhood.
I still get questions from folks to know if I plan on getting a new puppy but I am just not ready yet. I figure that you, Zieg and Toby will point a new puppy my way when the time is right.
I hope you are having a great time playing at the rainbow bridge with everybody. I miss and love you very very much. Happy birthday.
Enjoy this little video of one of you many favorite places that you went to.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!! This would have been your 10th birthday today and it was a great day for you as I know you are at the bridge playing with everybody, what a great day.
I thought I would go to our most favorite area today and visit you where I spread some of your ashes, which I know you know but just saying. Anyway it was a nice day and was great to see your area again. I really miss you every single day of my life, I see you walking with me still. I can sit here telling you how much I miss and love you but I know you already know that. I just want you to know that you will never be forgotten.
I want to give you a little video I made while I was sitting next to your ash grave, I know you were watching me today while I was hiking but I just want you to have this video to watch when you want. I am really trying to get past so I can move on with life but it has been really hard to do that. I know you want me to move on and I know you are watching over me as we will be together one day.
Today is your one year angelversary and I wanted to sit down to write you my thoughts to let you know you are on my mind every minute of every day. I still cannot believe it has been one year today you went to the Rainbow Bridge. I started to collect pictures from your life to create a slide show of your life which I have not completed it yet and I will, but as I look over all of the pictures I have taken of you it seems like just yesterday you came home as a little ball of fur. Time just went way too fast.
As I sit here thinking of what to write to you I can only think of all the great times we had during your time on this earth. This past year has been a roller coaster of emotions and thoughts of you for me but please know that the thoughts of you is what gets me through the day. I look back on the many things we experienced together when you were by my side and every experience was a great memory. When I take my walks in the neighborhood I think of you running and playing ahead of me looking for the next child to play with or just trying to find that rabbit to chase. This past Halloween was extremely hard for me as this was the first time in many years I did not have you here to dress up in a new outfit to show you off to the world, which I know you only put up with it just for me and I greatly appreciated it.
I know that if you could talk to me you would tell me that I need to move on but it has been very difficult for me to move on knowing how much you were a part of my life in everyday happenings. I miss waking up in the morning and seeing you lay on your bed looking at me just waiting for me to move around so we can start a new day, which you were always happy to see a new day even up to the last day on this earth. I miss having you go out to the front lawn to get the newspaper as you so enjoyed especially when it had snowed. I miss making your breakfast and sitting there eating my cereal know the day is just getting started. I miss having you with me on my walks and there are some days I just do not feel like walking but I know you are touching me on my shoulder to say “come on grab my collar and let’s go walking” so I pull myself up and keep going.
I have decided not to be at the house tonight as it will bring some extreme emotions out knowing that you were laying on your bed in such great spirits not knowing that day was your last day with me, but I know you are no longer in any pain. I want you to know that I am not running away but only that I need that space to help cope with the emptiness I have in my heart. I know that people say it gets easier as time passes but I have to say it does not. I am always thinking of you as well your two brothers, Zieg and Toby, playing together and having a great time. As you already know your sister, Zoya, joined you this year to frolic in the tall grass and swim in all the ponds you want. I know that Zoya’s pawrents miss her very much just like I miss you.
I want you to know that you will never be forgotten no matter how many days, months, years go by you are always in my heart.
Today is a day that will never become easy for me, but knowing that you are up there looking down on me helps me make it through each day. I love and miss you, Zieg and Toby very much. I know you guys are waiting up there for me to come join you and one day we will be back together.
Love you, Dad
This is you taking a nap after a long day of play time